As the end of this Australian experience gets nearer, my ‘internal-emotional-weather-forecast-centre’ bulletin often reads: “emotions’ cloud masses on collision course, high chances of precipitation, incoming storm”. This internal turmoil is mainly due to the clash between the so-called ‘push and pull’ factors. My thoughts about Home are becoming sharper and more vivid, the desire to reunite with my family stronger. However, the friends I’ve made, the steadiliy growing attachment to these Australian/Adelaidean surroundings are anchoring part of my heart here. These past few days, while walking around campus or about some often visited spots of the city, my mind would start projecting snapshots, short films of me walking there in the first few weeks since my arrival. The images and sounds would wash over me and leave me blinking into empty space for a few seconds. The laughs, jokes, talks shared being engraved on my mind. This kaleidoscope of emotions has excited me to drink in every sight, every detail around me. I will treasure them and share them with my family and friends back home and, when the aching and longing will loom over me, play them in my head over and over again. As a fellow friend on the same scholarship has perfectly expressed with the words of the Italian Australian poet Mariano Coreno:
“Lontananza, vicinanza. Non voglio perdere tutto quello che ho lasciato dell’Italia. Non voglio lasciare tutto quello che ho trovato in Australia. / So far away, and yet so close. I don’t want to lose everything that I have left that is Italian. I don’t want to leave everything that I have found in Australia.”.
It is inevitable to leave a small piece of one’s heart in those places where one has lived a special experience.
It will definitely hurt at first, but then, with time and the hope of a future return, that piece will continue to live on, throbbing, waiting to be reunited and be, once again, whole.