Do you think your better off alone?

It has been a lot longer between blogs than I had anticipated. During this time, life in Krakow has steadily increased in pace and intensity. As I have got to know more and more people, there has been a continual increase in parties and social events. This has been coupled with an ever expanding workload for my university subjects. Each week, I have told myself that I will contribute to the website with a new blog but then sometime has come up and the blog has taken a backseat to what I had perceived to be more pressing at that given time.

However, I had decided that tonight would be the perfect time to write a new blog. I was reminded by my dad on Thursday that it had been three months since I started ‘m y big adventure’ and although I did not think that much would change during this time, I have been astonished by my own personal evolution. As a result of this personal growth, I have begun to consider whether my life in Australia will be transformed by my experiences.

The separation from my life back home has allowed me to reflect on every little aspect of the everyday and mundane. While my life in Australia has come to a grinding halt, it has continued to flow and evolve for all of those who are important to me in Brisbane. This has caused me to question where I will fit in their lives and whether I will have to adapt in order to still have a place of importance.

However, I have also considered that maybe the differences in my personality may alienate some of my friends and family or even change the nature and construction of our relationships. These are some of the many concerns and anxieties I have in relation to my re-enculturation which is shockingly only two months around the corner.

Although I am frightened about my return to Australia, I am also excited by the prospect of being reunited with my friends and family. Throughout my time here, I have missed them a great deal and there are always situations or events that occur where I wish they could be with me to experience all the crazy, exciting and scary moments.

This week has been a particularly challenging week for me. There have been certain events that have occurred that have found me feel isolated or out of place within my core friendship group in Krakow. At these moments, I have really missed the comforts of home and I almost wished that my time was up in Krakow and I could be reunited with the familiarities and safeties associated with my friends, family and life at home.

While this week has been emotionally draining as I have suffered through my second bout of homesickness and depression, I have realised that my experience of a lifetime and ‘my big adventure’ is nearing to an end. Thus, I should be embracing the journey and all of its positive implications rather than wasting what precious little time I have left reflecting on the negative or frightening aspects.

About Ainslie Mulholland

My name is Ainslie Mulholland and I am from Griffith University in Brisbane, Australia. I am studying a Bachelor of Journalism specialising in Film and Screen and History. I am an exchange student at Jagiellonian University in Krakow. This is my first time overseas and I am excited, scared, happy and homesick all at once. I hope I can convey this in these posts and provide some insight for people looking to study overseas as part of this program.
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6 Responses to Do you think your better off alone?

  1. Angus says:

    I think anyone can understand that feeling of isolation, but I don’t think you should worry too much. I won’t speak for anyone else though I doubt they’d think differently. No one is going to mind if you’ve changed they’re just going to need a little time to adapt, I’ve been talking to you and believe me you may have changed but not so much that we won’t all recognise the Ainslie we all know and love

    • Ainslie Mulholland says:

      It sounds like you are slightly disturbed by my changes. Hopefully you are not too freaked out when you arrive tomorrow. I am sure you can handle it but (hopefully…..)

      I am also fairly sure that everyone else will have changed while I am gone so I think we will all have some readjusting to do.

      Ainslie xxoo

  2. Andrew Pelechaty says:

    Diversity and evolution are an important part of growing up. We all feel isolation at times and I know there are occassions where I conciously wear a ‘mask’ among friends/colleagues because I don’t want them to know certain things about me (nothing creepy mind). While it may be a bit painful now being so far away from your nearest and dearest, your true friends will embrace Future Ainslie as much, if not as more, as Past Ainslie. Your new experiences will make you a more well-rounded person.

    • Ainslie Mulholland says:

      Well I hope you like future Ainslie as much as you like past Ainslie. Although future Ainslie sounds like some kind of frightening out of control robot. If that is the case, I think you will like future Ainslie more lol xxoo.

  3. Arian Edmunds says:

    I love how you have put those feelings into a paragraph, I have been trying to do that for ages. I find it really hard to explain how this time has affected me and the anxiety I feel about going home and ‘fitting’ back into life. While I am sure it will be fine there are many little adjustments that will need to be made.
    Its really great to realise that moment for those thoughts is not yet here and to enjoy the moment.

    • Ainslie Mulholland says:

      Hey Arian,

      Thank you for the nice comments. I have been struggling with a while to try and write how I have been feeling. It is a really strange mix of emotions but I am sure that all of the exchange students are experiencing these feelings in some way.

      Keep enjoying your time here and I really like reading your blogs about all of your adventures.

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